Claim Your Power: A 40-Day Journey to Dissolve the Hidden Blocks That Keep You Stuck and Finally Thrive in Your Life’s Unique Purpose

Highlights

DAY 12: Discover Your Purpose

You can think of the process of discovering your life’s Purpose as intentionally living in mystery.

DAY 12: Discover Your Purpose

The spiritual path will always lead you back to yourself. You can search far and wide for answers, but it will not be until you’ve come home to yourself that you will discover the truth. This can be confusing. Up until now you have looked to the world to tell you what your Purpose is. You thought that it was in a relationship, or a child, or a job. You went on an outward search for something that can be found only within, which is why the search took so long. It’s why you came up empty-handed again and again.

Foreword

your deepest fears are invisible, and they guide your behavior every day without you knowing it. It’s not because you’re weak; it’s because we are wired that way. There is plenty of science to verify this—and Mastin has researched it

Foreword

there is nothing more important and more pressing than healing hidden traumas. I’ve had the great pleasure to coach billionaires, hedge fund managers, CEOs, and celebrities—some of the most successful people on the planet. Every single one of them has behaviors that stem from hidden traumas, and every single one of them has benefited from healing the traumas

Foreword

The hardest part of this work is that your body will fight to hide it from you. That’s why this book is genius. It’s not a conscious decision you’re making—it’s an unconscious decision your body made without your knowledge or awareness. When you read this book, you’ll get clear on what is going on

Invocation

A day will come when you will be stirred by unexpected events. A part of you will die, and you will begin to search for the elixir that will bring this part of you back to life. You will seek the elixir in friends, lovers, enemies, books, religions, foreign countries, heroes’ songs, rituals, and jobs, but no matter where you look the treasure will evade you. All will seem lost, and you will lose all hope that this magic potion even exits. This will be the darkest of nights, and the promise of certain death will lead you to the abyss of despair. But staring into the abyss you will see the dim light of your own illuminated Soul. Your radiance will transform the abyss into the elusive elixir of life, and for the first time you will realize that all the while it was your own Light that you’ve been searching for.

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“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” — MAYA ANGELOU

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If you haven’t been getting results up until now, it’s probably because you’ve been focusing on the symptoms of what’s keeping you stuck but haven’t gotten to the root.

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Here’s the good news: abundance in all its forms is the by-product of discovering and bringing your Purpose to life.

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It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what your Purpose is, if you think you knew what it was and then lost it, if you don’t believe that you have a Purpose, or if you have an idea of what your Purpose is already. There’s always a next level, and it’s not too late. You didn’t miss it. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. Your Purpose is here, right now, waiting for you to find it—and when you do … Well, my friend, everything changes; your whole life improves.

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Purpose will guide you to the career or business of your dreams. No more soul-sucking job, no more talking about starting your business—your Purpose will see that those days are behind you.

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Perhaps the most exciting thing about discovering your Purpose is that when you do, you are no longer held back by the past. Any trauma, hurt, victimization, betrayal, injury, or injustice—poof, it’s gone.

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If this seems too grandiose or far-fetched, I get it. I am the captain of the skeptics club when it comes to any kind of religious-, spiritual-, or self-help-type claims of such magnitude. I’ve also found that sometimes skepticism can be a way to hide from living your Purpose. So, if you’re thinking that this Kipp guy is off his rocker and that this Purpose thing seems like some magic wand, let me put you at ease. Bringing your Purpose to life is real work. And it’s hard. Here’s some real talk: this book is a wake-up call. We’ve most likely come together because you feel that you have a calling within you that is ready to be answered. You have a deep knowing that there is something greater for you to bring forward, and you’re ready to finally figure out what the heck it is. So grab your journal and a pen or pencil—tools to assist you on this journey.

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To get to the Promised Land of your Purpose, you’ve got to wander through the desert of your traumas. We’ve got to get to the root cause of what’s kept you stuck. We’ve got to be more honest than you have probably ever been. We’ve got to face your biggest fear, call BS, and find the part of you that is far greater than this fear. This is serious work that pays off the highest rewards this life has to offer

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If you go long enough with having a sense that your life has Purpose and you don’t get to the Promised Land, you can suffer the worst kind of pain: being consciously separated from who you really are and—as a result—your Purpose. This can cause all kinds of coping mechanisms. Eventually you go from being an optimistic seeker and wanting to make the world a better place to a burned-out, jaded, and close-hearted person; you turn into a skeptic with a Ph.D. in why things didn’t work out for you. So, make me a promise, okay? Don’t be that person. For the rest of our time together, just table the skepticism, all the stories you’ve convinced yourself are true about why you can’t have what you want. Tell the voice of insecurity in your head to pack up and go on vacation for the next 40 days. After working with thousands of people from all walks of life, I have seen time and time again that having an open mind and a curious spirit and being a student of life are the foundations in creating success

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News flash: no matter what you’ve been through, someone else (and most likely millions of other people) has gone through it or is going through it right now. Your problems, your past, your hurt, your trauma are not what make you special. What makes you special is your ability to discover and thrive in your Purpose in spite of all those things.

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You have a powerful, resilient, and infinite spirit within you that is unstoppable. To access it, you’ve got to get out of your own way and decide that from this moment forward you are going to earn a Ph.D. in results and in creating the outcomes you truly desire.

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Your Purpose helps you answer questions like the following: Why am I here? What was I made for?

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Your Purpose resides where it has always been, within you. And yet it eludes you. You feel the lack of its presence as a small twinge of fear at first. Then the feeling grows into anger, resentment, unworthiness, and exhaustion. Finally life hits you with a crisis you cannot ignore. I call these moments your Divine Storms.

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Divine Storm (or “shit storm,” as some of my clients call it) is a moment in time when life, God, and The Universe all seem to be against you. What used to work no longer does. What used to feel certain now feels uncertain. All your power and Purpose is gone. And if you’re not careful, you’ll never get them back.

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The funny thing about addiction is that when you are sober you tell yourself you’re going to do one thing, and when that craving hits, all logic, promises, and integrity tend to go out the window. I’d since lost my dream job, been drinking a lot, was in massive emotional pain from my breakup and the job loss, and I felt so down that I wanted to do the whole bag.

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Maybe it was Jesus, or the Divine, or my intuition—but something wouldn’t let me continue to hurt myself. In fact, this knowing knew that if I did one more line, I’d die. So, in an act of what I can call only Grace, I found myself flushing it all down the toilet right then and there. The next morning I decided I wanted to feel as good off the drugs as I did on them.

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My guess is you probably wouldn’t have picked up a book called Claim Your Power if everything was rocking in your life. Perhaps you’re in the midst of a tremendous Divine Storm too. Perhaps you’re in search of an answer to the question “Why did this happen to me?” Or you may simply be feeling stuck, depressed, sad, or anxious, or like someone else holds all your power and you don’t know what to do about it. Maybe you don’t have a clue about what your Purpose is, you thought you did but then lost it, or you aren’t quite convinced that you have a Purpose. That’s quite fine.

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One of the biggest irrational fears I hear from my clients regarding this work is: “If I live my Purpose, it will cost too much, either financially or emotionally. I’ll be broke, my family will suffer, and I’ll hurt the people I love.” These seem like valid concerns at first. Who would want to take a step forward if you knew your family would suffer? The problem is that this belief is a fear-backed lie. Following your Purpose won’t make you broke. Living your Purpose won’t cause your family and friends to suffer. In fact, if anything is going to cause you or your loved ones to suffer, it’s the possibility of you staying stuck in the exact same place you are now for the next 10 years, continuing to be unfulfilled, and existing just out of reach of your Purpose

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you won’t harm your family or make them poor by doing what you were created to do. The truth is that when you step into your Purpose, everything becomes better and everything increases—your finances, your health, and your relationships

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deciding to live your Purpose does not make you selfish. It does require that you become a little self-ish, but this decision will allow you to fill up your cup. From that place you can serve others even more.

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My therapist once told me that all the problems in my life had one thing in common: me. Ouch! That stung for a bit, but I realized it was true

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I don’t believe that if you put something on a vision board, you’ll automatically get what you want. Having a vision alone doesn’t make you “healthy, wealthy, and wise.” It takes action. It takes work. Most important, it requires that you find courage on a daily basis. But there is a rich reward for doing so. As you go along this path, you won’t disappoint the people you love; you’ll become more for those people.

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What’s stopping you from stepping into your Purpose? What’s keeping you from moving forward? What nearly imperceptible blocks keep you playing small when your Purpose is so big? Trauma.

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We are all traumatized to one degree or another, and the brain registers the pain the same, regardless of the actual event. The dictionary defines trauma as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience, emotional shock, a physical injury, or a stressful event. In ancient Greek, trauma literally means “wound.” Interestingly enough, Traum is the German word for “dream.” The most common definition of dream is a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep. And a nightmare is a frightening dream that often wakes the sleeper. Based on that, my definition of trauma is: a nightmare of thoughts, images, and emotions based on past wounds that creates unconscious and irrational stress in the body that suspends awareness of our Infinite nature

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When we are traumatized, we are asleep to our true nature. The emotions of trauma are stored in our bodies, and regardless of how long it has been since the traumatizing event, our bodies always remember. In fact, we relive our “nightmares” until we realize that we are the dreamers and can wake up.

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we continue to hurt ourselves until we heal ourselves.

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Let’s talk for a moment about the difference between acting like a victim and being victimized. Every day human beings are victimized. There are victims of unjust wars, sexual assault, racism, sexism, religious persecution, unjustified police brutality, greedy politicians, and bad parenting

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Once we acknowledged the trauma, we were able to shift their perceptions and allow them to see that they could step out of the victim identity, give the trauma a new meaning, and move forward to live their Purposes.

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The client who’d endured multiple acts of molestation realized that to be an example of strength, love, and determination would ensure that the perpetrators’ actions would not negatively affect her children. If she shut down and decided not to live her Purpose, those who hurt her were still winning. The client whose mother was mentally ill realized that her mother’s poor behavior was a catalyst for her growth, allowing her to be a wonderful, loving mother to her own kids and not pass on generational trauma. The client who’d witnessed 9/11 had shielded a friend with his own body, and he was finally able to see himself as a hero who acted with love in the midst of an act of unknowable hate and evil.

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Being a victim is an identity with a corresponding emotional state. If you take on the identity of a victim, you put yourself into a trance, and that’s how you see the world. It’s like saying, “I am my wound.” And the rest of the world will agree with you! You’ll find other people who are also wounded who will justify your wound-based identity, and you’ll remain together—wounded and stuck indefinitely. But the tragedy is you will also cut yourself off from your Purpose. You’ll make innocent people your enemy by associating them with your past wounds, rally against them, and in some ways you’ll become the very thing that hurt you.

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Being victimized, on the other hand, means you were wounded but the wound does not define who you are. Just because you have been victimized, it does not mean you are a victim. There’s a big difference between “I am my wound” and “I was wounded.” So, in order to jump out of being a victim at the level of identity and saying you were victimized, you must say the following: I have felt like my identity was my wound. I realized that that is not totally true. What’s actually true is I was wounded. I can find new meaning in that wound, which will set me free. Then I can live my Purpose. When you are victimized, there is a natural grieving and healing process that must occur.

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Taking on the identity of a victim is something we do in the aftermath of victimization. It makes total sense. When something traumatic happens, the body goes into fight-or-flight mode and creates beliefs, emotions, stories, and behaviors designed to prevent further trauma. The true tragedy here is that, if left unchecked and unresolved, you can turn a moment of trauma into a lifetime of acting the victim and therefore never living your Purpose

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The most extreme examples of people who endured victimization and rose above it have all come to the same conclusion: I am not defined by my past, no matter what’s happened to me. You don’t have to ignore it. You don’t have to agree with it or pretend it didn’t happen. And forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re condoning what happened. But if you don’t forgive and get free, the people who hurt you are still winning.

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Part of my Purpose is to help those who have been victimized break free from victim consciousness and go on to claim their power, connect with their Souls and Purposes, and become beacons of light. This not only heals those who have been victimized; it creates a tidal wave of healing where before there was pain.

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your wounds lead you to your Purpose. Regardless of the hurt you’ve endured, and the negative beliefs you believe about yourself, you’ll soon realize the opposite is true—you are worthy, you are loved, and you are exactly where you are supposed to be in order to take your next step.

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Accelerated times call for accelerated measures, so before we go any further, I have two questions for you: Are you truly committed to discovering, living, and prospering in your life’s Purpose? Or are you only committed to thinking about the many “what-ifs” for the rest of your life?

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here’s the simple and difficult truth: you are exactly where you want to be. You may say, “No. That’s not true. I don’t want to be stuck in this dead-end job.” Or “No way! I never signed up to be in such an unfulfilling relationship as the one I’m in now.” But the fact that you’re still in that exact situation says that you’ve accepted this as your fate for the time being. You have settled for less than what you desire. But for whatever reason you haven’t taken the steps to make a change. You have become comfortable with a less-than-fulfilling life, always looking for distractions. In fact, this book could be yet another distraction. You may read it, have a few “aha moments,” and then go on your merry way

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what you really need is to dive into the area of your life where you are most frustrated, stare at it, feel the pain, learn the lesson, and get free. That requires taking great action on your part, rather than consuming endless ideas about what you could do. Yes, it can be scary to take the plunge—to make these big changes in your life. And it’s not usually easy to do. It’s much easier to skip along and onto the next thing, ignoring the pain of being stuck.

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the world needs you to wake up, find your Purpose, and serve. Why? Because if you don’t, there will be less light in the world, less healing, less joy, and much more pain. There are people you don’t know right now who are waiting for you to get going and get your act together. Because they can’t do it without you

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I want to create a bunch of leaders: Souls who have claimed their power and then, in their own way, help others do the same. So, I ask you again, How committed are you to going on this journey with me? Because I intend to take you on a journey, a hero’s or heroine’s journey, that will take you from a Divine Storm to your life’s Purpose, from stuck to powerful, from lost to found so that you never again have to wonder, Why do I feel like something is missing from my life?

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There’s a new model of personal growth emerging—the Heart model. Let’s start by taking a look at the old model—the head model—and its flaws, so you can better understand why this Heart model is needed to fully claim your power and live your Purpose.

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We’ve been told that changing our lives by changing our thinking is the name of the game. While there is truth in this, it’s kind of like saying that to change the direction your car is going, you simply have to turn the steering wheel. The problem is that depending on the situation, turning the steering wheel can be very hard. And if you’re out of gas, it won’t make much difference anyway.

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Have you ever been in the midst of a positive affirmation like “I love myself,” and almost before you were done saying it, another part of you jumped in and screamed, “BS!”? You probably said to that part of yourself, Thank you for sharing, but be quiet, and continued with your positive affirmations. But the nagging voice didn’t go away. You judged yourself and you have probably judged others who have heard the same voice.

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We’ve all gotten caught up in a massive superstition that positive thinking is the answer. If I think a positive thought, I will get a positive result. If I think anything negative, I will attract disease, poverty, and unhealthy relationships. We’ve become like helpless toddlers tossed into a pool of thought, trying to keep our heads above water with all this positive thinking and visioning, even though we can’t swim. It’s no wonder we tend to sink and drown.

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When all our positive thinking doesn’t lead to the positive results we’re looking for, we make it personal. We say, “Something’s wrong with me,” “It wasn’t meant to be,” “I’m not good enough,” and on and on. Even if you can get past those self-blaming narratives to give changing your thoughts another chance, success can seem like just a distant wish, something for the gurus or privileged people—but not for you. Your sad story about your life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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perhaps you’ve turned to talk therapy. You’ve spent thousands of dollars over many years creating a massive case file about your life: who hurt you, who held you back, how your parents didn’t give you what you needed, and so on. You’ve psychoanalyzed the whole of your life, and in the end you find you’re still left asking, “Why did this happen to me?”

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No amount of chemical healing agents can fill the void of your Purpose. If you are spending your time numbing feelings that should be felt and released, you are keeping yourself stuck.

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Head Model Beliefs That Lead You to Suffer from P.D.D. You can change your life based solely on the level of thinking is enough. Negative thinking is bad. Fear is the opposite of love. You can attract what you want without any work. Not getting what you want is a sign that it’s not meant to be. Once you’ve had a breakthrough you don’t have to do any more work. Medication is sufficient and it’s all you need to fix a spiritual problem. Something is wrong with you that needs to be fixed.

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I’ve seen a client who tried to commit suicide while pregnant admit that it was scarier to be her true, vulnerable self than it was to try to take her own life

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This world is full of infinite potential, so there shouldn’t be so many of us feeling so stuck. Infinite potential. Yeah, right. But it’s true.

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You are not just a human being. You inhabit a human being, but at your core you are a Divine Spark of the Creator. You are a Soul who chose a body and lessons to learn in this lifetime. Your true identity is Divine. And your Soul learns through contrast. What does that mean? If your Soul wants to learn forgiveness in this lifetime, then you must also experience betrayal. If your Soul wants to learn self-love in this lifetime, then you must also experience self-hatred. Without your difficult experiences, you wouldn’t be able to learn, grow, and transform in the way your Soul desires. Pain is a teacher. But we also have infinite possibilities to choose love as our go-to reaction. This lesson in opposites may sound contradictory, but it’s true. When you begin to take on this new perspective and belief system, everything changes. Questions like “Why did this happen to me?” are easily answered. You find out how much the opinion of others truly matters, and how much power you’ve been giving away to your family, friends, tribe, celebrity, and so on. You see that what you thought was the goal of life wasn’t it at all. You see that there is great meaning in the seemingly insignificant “coincidences” in your life.

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Einstein has said that you cannot solve a problem from the same level of thinking that created it. The head model served us by giving us the basic understanding that we do indeed create our own reality. But some of the unintended consequences of the head model are the following: Blaming yourself for your failures Turning “aha moments” into reasons to feel guilty and ashamed Buying into the superstition that negative thoughts attract a negative reality or make you sick Feeling like you can never fully arrive Believing that self-love is something you can perfect Giving up when you meet resistance or fear Turning God into a vending machine based on your vision board Thinking that sharing your truth and emotionally vomiting on someone are the same thing Trying to only identify with your Soul or Divine nature and ignoring your humanness—even worse, thinking your human thoughts and emotions are wrong Believing that your teacher, guru, pastor, preacher, or mentor has all the answers or better answers than you do inside

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Here are three things that are true within this Heart model of transforming your life: Intense emotion + belief + action = result. You live within circumstances (and patterns) you have created. Your circumstances (and patterns) can be changed at any time.

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Patterns are learned at young ages as coping mechanisms, and while I don’t think they ever completely go away, I think the frequency gets turned down, and they lessen over time. I hear it all the time from clients when they encounter patterns: “I thought I worked on this. I thought I fixed this already, and now all this stuff is coming up.” But that’s a shortsighted way of seeing it. The real truth is that when a Survival PatternTM (SP) continues to come up again and again, that’s your work now. One of my SPs is comparison. That’s my work now. One of my SPs is procrastination. That’s my work now. One of my SPs is neglecting and not nurturing myself. That’s my work now. It’s not like you work with an SP once and you’ve got it under control. It’s information and a manual that shows you who you are

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Heart Model Beliefs You must change your life on the level of emotion, not thought. Negative thinking and emotions are calls for awareness, invitations to break patterns that no longer serve you. Fear is a sign you are living your Purpose. Hard work is still required. Persistence is still required. Not getting what you want is spiritual redirection. There is a Divine reason for every experience you have. A breakthrough is a starting point to begin the real work. This must become a lifestyle. Chemical drugs can solve short-term problems or chemical imbalances, but for sustained happiness, eventually, when the time is right, you want to choose Purpose over pills whenever possible. There is nothing wrong with you. All you need is to change a pattern or two.

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there is a part of you that has created certain patterns to protect yourself and keep you safe. And that’s great—those patterns brought you this far. But from now on, you are going to have a higher standard for your life. Now, you want to do more than just protect yourself and survive. You want to thrive. That means yesterday’s medicine is today’s poison. You can’t heal trauma or step out of victimization from using your mind alone; it’s got to be emotional. You’ve got to feel something. You see, trauma is stored in the body. The problem with trying to only think your way into healing is that you ignore the very thing that needs to heal—your body. So, we’ve got to go deeper than that and feel our way from pain to freedom, from hurt and resentment to forgiveness, from small to unleashed. This transformation happens at the emotional level, not the level of thinking.

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To do this, you must allow yourself to feel any and every emotion necessary. And you’ve got to change your view on what those emotions mean. Understanding the power, relevance, and profound wisdom in all your emotions is the key difference between the head and Heart models

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all pain comes bearing lessons, all suffering has meaning, all unjust actions have a karmic debt, and all roads lead back to love. When we stop trying to understand our lives through the lens of human logic and instead surrender to the fact that we are a part of something greater, we can truly and forever get unstuck.

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One of the great superstitions and lies that the New Age has installed in our minds is that fear is the opposite of love. And where there is love, there can be no fear. Let me be clear—this is wrong. Dead wrong. At least in the human experience.

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the human body experiences fear practically all the time. The sophisticated seeker may call it something else. Stress is the fancy word many people use today for fear, but it’s still fear. The point is, if you have a brain, you experience fear. Why? Because you have a limbic system in your brain—the fight-or-flight place—that is always on, detecting threats and producing fear in your body. Here’s why the superstition that fear is the opposite of love is wrong: to live your Purpose, you must begin to live a courageous life. Which means you must risk making choices that will scare you.

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Want to start your own business but scared of where the money will come from? There’s a courageous choice to make.

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fast-paced world of instant gratification, there is no courage app. Finding the courage to claim your power and live your Purpose has got to be done the old-fashioned way—through taking a risk, leaping into the unknown, and feeling like you are going to die in the process. Good news: you won’t die.

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You’ll find that one of the most important acts of courage you must take to get unstuck is to fully feel the negative emotions you’ve been avoiding for most of your life. Feeling your negative feelings and learning the lesson they carry is the name of the game. P.D.D. is perpetuated through a lack of courage, through an avoidance of negative feelings and the lessons they bring.

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Your Soul speaks to you through your Heart, which is why the root of the word courage is coeur, the French word for “Heart.” The true demonstration of courage is learning to take direction from your Heart, no matter what your brain says.

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The Bible says that “perfect love casts out fear,” which is true—but typically not until you’ve gone through hell.

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When you live your Purpose, you will be tested over and over again. You will come face-to-face with your deepest fears right before you transcend to the next level of your emotion. Why? Ultimately so you can be shown that your worst fear has no power over you. When you face your fear, you transcend it, and that is how you cast out fear.

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What are your triggers? The news. Social media. Traffic. Your spouse. Your kids. What other people think. Past trauma that is unresolved. Unexpected bad news. Flight delays. Lost luggage. Being rejected. Taking a stand. And many other stimuli that affect us each and every day.

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There are two types of fear: Irrational fear (which I call Survival PatternsTM [SPs]) Necessary fear (which I call Survival Instincts)

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that part of the brain where fight or flight exists is binary, meaning it’s “On” or it’s “Off.” It gets triggered in the same way, whether our fears are necessary or irrational.

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98 percent of our fears today fall into the irrational category. I called irrational fear SPs. These are irrational patterns of fear that keep us stuck and not living our Purpose

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I’ve been able to create a list of the top 11 SPs I’ve seen after working with thousands of clients: Putting yourself last Trying to control other people Perfectionism Playing small Always assuming the worst Doubting your Higher Wisdom Addiction Procrastination Staying in toxic relationships Needing the approval of others Confusion (saying, “I don’t know” all the time)

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Here is my fear maxim: Unless you’re in mortal danger, fear is a compass showing you where to go.

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If you aren’t facing fear, you are most likely in a crisis. What is the purpose of a crisis? To reveal the SP(s) that need to be interrupted in order for you to live your Purpose.

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Fear is a sign that you are living your Purpose. The more fear, the more you should celebrate, not cower!

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My Anatomy of Transformation is a simple five-part system that will help you immediately understand why you’re stuck. The layers descend from the most superficial to the deepest. Here they are: 5—Behavior 4—Story/Thoughts/Mental Level (how you describe your circumstances) 3—Emotion (hardest layer to crack) 2—Beliefs (meanings created from past trauma) 1—Original Incident (OI) (trauma)

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three deeper layers that must be visited, understood, and, most important, felt before you can create lasting transformation.

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The third layer, the layer of emotion, is the hardest one to crack because we will do almost anything to avoid feeling our negative feelings. They rise up, and we quickly try to get rid of them. We do the opposite of what we should do; we disassociate rather than dive into them. This disassociation of emotion creates our stuckness. We become experts in stories and behaviors that keep us stuck and prevent us from feeling, and then we surround ourselves with people in similar situations and stay stuck together. This is why misery loves company.

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How do we dissociate from negative feelings? With all sorts of behaviors that are considered normal today, like distracting ourselves with social media or binge-watching TV; ignoring difficult conversations; overeating; all addictions; not leaving a relationship that’s toxic; playing small so others are not threatened; taking care of others instead of ourselves; praying God will do for us what we should do for ourselves; and many more.

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I’m a believer in therapy. I’m a believer in yoga. I’m a believer in visualization. But none of these modalities are going to be worth a single cent of spiritual power until you tap into how you are feeling, learn the lesson of your emotion, revisit painful moments of your past, and see them from the point of view of your Purpose.

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Positive emotions are a sign that you are aligned with your Purpose. Negative emotions are a call for awareness, a sign that you need to get back into alignment. Instead of negating or suppressing our negative emotions, we must liberate them in a healthy way so that we can understand why they are there. You feel what you feel for a good and valid reason. When you understand that reason, you will experience bliss.

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Joseph Campbell said that “every feeling fully felt is bliss.”

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Our world is still ruled by our mental capacities, as well as our social expectations, and so we are ignoring the genius of our emotions and our bodies.

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your mind must become the servant of your Purpose, instead of the slayer of your Purpose. This cooperation happens in conjunction with your emotional body and your Heart.

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Have you ever considered that depression and loneliness are a deep cry from your Purpose asking you to connect back to it? You cannot numb your Purpose with drugs, alcohol, or medication. It is still there. It has always been there, and now we’ve got to get back to it.

Read This First

You’re about to go on your own hero’s journey. I’ve based the structure of this book on Joseph Campbell’s model of the hero’s journey, which means there are going to be four parts: Part I—Separation Part II—Initiation Part III—Ordeal Part IV—The Journey Home All four stages are crucial to transforming your life.

Read This First

No journey is complete until we share what we’ve learned and, in doing so, improve the lives of those around us.

Read This First

I’ve found that breaking big ideas down into bite-size pieces of information creates quicker, lasting results. Plus, it feels good to make continual, bit-by-bit progress toward a goal.

Read This First

Jesus spent 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. It also takes a minimum of 40 days to change a behavior

Read This First

to make the biggest impact, you must commit to turning your life around and sticking with this new life for at least six months. That seems like a long time now, but when you’re living in the excitement and possibilities that you’ve manifested, those six months will fly by.

Read This First

If you miss a day, just pick up where you left off the next day. However, if you miss more than three days, I suggest you start over from the beginning. That’s how important it is that you focus on this process for the specified period of time.

Read This First

Don’t just read this book; use it.

PART I: SEPARATION

“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” — JOSEPH CAMPBELL

PART I: SEPARATION

No matter how hard you try, you’ll never get your past back. It is a hard, sobering, and redeeming truth. And in order for you to move forward on your path of Purpose, you must look with new eyes, a refreshed Heart, and an open-minded curiosity about what’s next.

PART I: SEPARATION

Campbell marks the first part of the journey as “Separation” because you must detach yourself from what you’ve known up until now. Because this Separation is a form of death, many of your SPs will try to abort your progress. Don’t give them that kind of power anymore.

PART I: SEPARATION

All transformation has three phases. They are: Excitement Fear and Resistance Mastery

PART I: SEPARATION

Right now, you’re excited. Filled with hope. Ready for the adventure. And that’s great. So am I! But I’m going to be real with you: that excitement will wear off, and soon enough you will find yourself coming up against your old SPs. You will want to turn back. You will want to quit. Yet your destiny is determined by how well you handle the moments of frustration and setback.

PART I: SEPARATION

The first thing I do when I feel frustration is to allow myself to feel it. And then I immediately ask myself, What does this mean? And within seconds I find an empowering meaning. It means I’m learning and growing. It means something better is on the way. This is the contraction before the expansion. I work the problem and try to mine whatever I’m supposed to be learning from it. It can be very painful, but my meaning is: this is how you grow.

PART I: SEPARATION

It’s easy to have faith when all is well. It’s easy to be excited when you haven’t come up against the terrified part of your personality that will stop at nothing to make sure you keep the status quo. It’s easy to get psyched up for a moment. But you must first commit to a path of mastery before you begin. What does mastery look like? First, a master is a beginner who kept beginning, and that is who you must become. Keep beginning

PART I: SEPARATION

When you see someone “come out of nowhere,” she hasn’t. She has been working diligently, each and every day, when no one else was watching. She was committed to a path of mastery, and it led to her success. Of course, there will be obstacles. There always are

PART I: SEPARATION

Here are three thoughts that will fight to hold you back: I’ve heard this all before. Actually, someone else told me that’s not true. It’s easy for you—you’re successful. Before we begin our journey, let me address these.

PART I: SEPARATION

The most successful people in the world keep a childlike approach to life. Note: not childish … childlike—there’s a difference. Childlike means you are open to any possibility. You remain open to miracles, to synchronicities, and to hearing a truth that you’ve heard before. It’s vital to stay open as you begin your journey because, let’s face it, you’re stubborn. Just like me. And maybe you have to hear the same truth 1,001 times before it finally sinks in.

PART I: SEPARATION

The difference between understanding and knowing is in results. You can understand the basic concepts behind losing weight, but you only know how to do it if you’ve gotten the result.

PART I: SEPARATION

In our world of information overload, you will find millions of pieces of advice that will contradict one another. Just because you read something on the Internet or in a book doesn’t make it true. It’s true if you feel it in your Heart

PART I: SEPARATION

Give me 40 days and then you can have your old beliefs back, if that’s what you decide. Until then, be a blank page.

PART I: SEPARATION

Like my dad says, “Success is what happens after you’ve survived all your mistakes.”

PART I: SEPARATION

People who say “it’s easier for successful people” use that story as a reason not to try. Because trying means they could fail. So let’s put aside the idea that it’s easier for successful people, because it isn’t. A master has failed more times than a dabbler will ever try.

PART I: SEPARATION

Your aim is to dedicate yourself to mastery, to take personal responsibility for your reaction to your circumstances, and simply begin each day. When you fall, get back up. When you want to quit, keep going. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Time will pass, but the effort, no matter how small, will have an eternal effect on your destiny. Jesus said it best in Matthew 6:4 (Aramaic Bible): “Your Father who sees in secret will reward you in public.”

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.” — JOSEPH CAMPBELL

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

stuck = dead. That which does not move is dead.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

We know from basic physics that objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest tend to stay at rest. The same applies to transforming your life. Areas of your life that are dead tend to stay dead. Areas of your life that are alive tend to stay alive. Going from dead to fully alive is our aim here. While at first it will take courageous action, and it might feel like you’re pushing a one-ton boulder up a steep mountain, once you’ve gained some momentum, it will become a heck of a lot easier to keep that momentum going

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

What’s so cool is that when you connect back with your Purpose, instead of pushing, you will invoke a different energy. You will be pulled by your Purpose. Instead of trying to make things happen, miracles and synchronicities will happen all on their own, and they will be better than your mind could have ever imagined.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

why are you dead in certain parts of your life? Because you lack courage in those areas. Within those areas, there are negative emotions you haven’t felt or learned from yet.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

The primary feelings of being dead are powerlessness, contraction, and frustration. I’d bet you’re experiencing all three of these feelings in one or more areas of your life.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

Here’s a cosmic irony about fear: When you are afraid to take action because there is an outcome you’re afraid of, not taking action produces the outcome you are afraid of. So you are living within a self-fulfilling prophecy. And here are some examples to jog your awareness: Scared of being hurt in a relationship? You pick someone you know you don’t have to let in, and he ends up hurting you. Scared of not having any money? You withdraw, become scared, and stop taking risks, which results in no new opportunities and a lack of abundance. Scared of people abandoning you? You twist yourself into someone you’re not in order to satisfy what other people want. Then, when you show your real self, they are surprised and leave you. The area of your life where you’re dead is your own creation. You may have been victimized in the past, and if you have, my heart is with you. However, the time has come to step out of victim consciousness and begin the courageous process of resurrection.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

the truth will set you free, but first it will terrify you.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

dead areas of our lives provide the greatest opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. One courageous action in a dead area of your life is more powerful than 1,000 therapy sessions, 100 bottles of green juice, and all the yoga you can twist yourself into.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

Where are you dead in your life? These are areas where you are most frustrated, annoyed, resigned, or stuck. You cannot change your life without first admitting this to yourself. So list the areas in your journal:

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

Now take a few moments to reflect on the dead areas of your life above by answering the following questions: What Survival PatternsTM (SPs) have kept you from admitting you were dead in the past? When was the first time you can remember feeling dead in each one of these areas? How has remaining dead in these areas actually benefited your survival? Are there any relationships in your life that support your being dead in these areas? What I’ve found with many of my clients is that the areas where they feel dead seem so familiar and so comfortable that they feel like home.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

The key on this first day is to not beat yourself up for being dead. By looking into what’s holding you back, you may start to feel guilt, shame, and self-doubt. On another day, we will talk about how to really feel these emotions so you can work through them,

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

for now, just know that these emotions are totally normal and natural, but that they do not serve your greater Purpose. Instead, focus on our aim for today, which is simple honesty. Being honest with yourself is the first step toward claiming your power. In admitting where you are dead, you are taking a courageous first step toward your growth. Celebrate this as your first win.

DAY 1: Why Are You Dead?

Today’s affirmation: I am capable of reaching my full Potential. Today’s prayer: Creator, please help me see clearly the areas of my life where I am dead, and help me forgive myself for holding myself hostage. I am ready to be honest with myself. Show me how to move forward into my Purpose.